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🚨 NEW GAME DROP: DYSTRAIL 🚨

Think Oregon Trail, but instead of dysentery it’s tariffs, raw milk, and the National Guard blocking your way to Capitol Hill.

👉 Encounters include:

  • 🥛 Raw Milk Roulette
  • 🪱 Brain Worms
  • 🐊 Alligator Alcatraz
  • 📚 Dept. of Education Eliminated
  • 💸 Tariff Tsunami
  • 👩‍🦳 Facebook Aunt “Boss”

Each run comes with a short Share Code like DP-GATOR97 or CL-PANTS42. Paste a friend/streamer’s code to play the same cursed journey.

And yes… there’s a Pants Meter. Stress it too far and you’ll trigger a 💩 National Pants Emergency fail state. (C-SPAN will never let you live it down.)

Play in your browser → https://dystrail.com
Post your endings. Let’s see who survives the Filibuster Boss ⚔️